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12.

Passions All Around Me  

Joel Metzger

Passion directs my life -- but I bet people don't think I am a very
passionate guy. I'm pretty quiet, usually laid back, alone a lot. I am
definitely not the most fiery person you've ever seen. But you wouldn't see
the whole thing. There's more here than meets the eyes. My sole commitment
is to my wishes--  the deep wishes, that is, not the every day superficial
desires that come and go. I follow the yearnings in my heart.

There is a big difference. Those desires that come and go are for quick
needs and thrills. They take me all over the place. They don't last long. I
can't trust them to lead me in good directions. But there are other wishes
that have stuck around for most of my life. For the most part, they lead me
true. I can trust them.

One yearning I always have is to connect with others. Some people collect
stamps, some matchbooks. I collect friends. I will chose to spend time with
other people over anything else. For me, the ultimate is a real
heart-to-heart connection with another person  lover, friend, or stranger.
A couple years ago I started having casual parties every month, called
GT's, (Get Togethers). Their whole purpose was to encourage more
connection. And it worked. The connection happened. People became friends,
lovers, roommates--happening  so for a while I turned  exactly what I wanted to see.

Because of my yearnings, the G.T.'s evolved. They became popular parties, but
I wanted to see more creative expression happening--  so for a while I turned
them into story telling nights. Later I wanted to see more deep
conversations and people speaking their truth, and less quick small
talk--  so for a while they became Salons, with discussions of a chosen
topic every evening. The monthly G.T.'s have ended now, after Number 28, and
they fulfilled their purpose: a place for people to connect and spend time
together.

Another yearning is to see and appreciate people. Sometimes I catch myself
staring at somebody who looks interesting. A few months ago I started a new
hobby: sketching people, drawing faces and bodies. A wonderful hobby, and
one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I pull out my sketchbook
at coffee shops and on the train to Philly. How exciting watching myself
improve! I am learning to do something that I thought I could never learn.
Most of all, it gives me a license to stare at people and appreciate them.

I am a creative sort of guy. That's another yearning. I love to see things
done with imagination, a little differently, a bit out-of-the-box. Always I
have something to work on, one project or another, maybe a wall hanging,
maybe a letter. My apartment is like a gallery, with my photography, my
mother's watercolors, a friend's paintings, various ceramics, old prints,
treasures, toys, and stuffed animals.

I have always yearned for a place to live that really felt like home. I
found it! A great apartment in this great town. Big enough for my G.T.'s, a
workshop in the basement, lots of walls to show people�s work, room for
friends to come and stay here if they want, in a town where I can walk
around and bump into people I know.

Then there is another type of yearning, one that brings all these passions
together. I find a feeling like a core of passion inside myself. Feeling
this core is like carrying a special, secret package that is warm and
strong. Maybe secret is not the right word. It's not that I do not want
anyone to know. I call it a secret because it is personal and intimate. I
feel like a container, with this subtle feeling of dearness that I find
inside of me. More than anything, it is what I focus on and want to stay
close to. It's what all my yearnings come from and point to.

There's a door to this core that is easy to enter, but I rarely hear anyone
talk about it. I learned about this door from a teacher who shows people
how to use this tool. With practice, I can access this source easily and
it's become a vital part of my day. It is amazing to me to have a handle on
this feeling. Right inside of me! It's my private treasure, the core of my
passions.


              Joel

    Joel Metzger
     You may write to Joel at: emailjoel@verizon.net
     Savor Joel's adventure in Barcelona, January 2005
     where his Abundant Magical Life jumps off the page.

 

    

 

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