9.
Chicken Shit for the Soul
Richard McLaughlin
At my high school I will from time to time I talk to my friend, Bruce, about my frustrations with my students. He is sort of my boss. He has the title of; "Department Chairperson", but in his heart he will always be a farmer like his dad. I would list all of the extreme measures I tried in order to reach this kid, but nothing seemed to be working.
Once he told me, "Well, Richard, you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit. Try as you might, you can put as much sugar on that pile of shit and it won’t get any sweeter."
I hear his message. There is only so much one can do for another. There is limited resources and time available. If the student wants to be a pile of chicken shit, well what are you going to do. Don’t let it get to you. SURVIVAL! Do your job and go home.
During the summer of 2002 I did a lot of reflecting on the "year from hell" I had at a new program for my school district. I read "Peace Is Every Step," by Thich Nhat Hahn.
He spoke of the idea of looking at your anger as a composting pile. A farmer would look at that pile of garbage and see the flower and fruit for the next year. It just simply takes time to turn the pile into something useful.So, it made me think of the chicken shit. If I allowed this pile of chicken shit to compost…then the composted chicken shit could be spread over the fields…that grows the grain…that feeds the chickens. Guess what? I just made chicken salad out of chicken shit!
In the same light, if we could simply teach these students how to compost their "shit" by believing in and accept them for who they are. Give them the unconditional love they need. Give their chicken shit the time it needs to become something useful in their lives. We could in fact make chicken salad out of their chicken shit. Look at these experiences with the eye of the farmer. Know that this year’s crap is next year’s crop. It’s just a letter away.
First Experiences with Chicken Shit
There was a boy that has a mother who was in a marriage that was abusive. Her husband was an alcoholic. He abused her and her children.
One day she had enough. She called the police. She felt that there was a great spiritual connection with this policeman and they became friends. Eventually they fell in love. She had her fourth child, a boy! But, she was still married to the abusive alcoholic.
Soon after the birth of her fourth son she divorced and got remarried to the father of the latest baby. However, the real chicken shit hit the fan in her life. Her first husband sued for custody. He tried to convince the courts that she was crazy. He eventually received custody of all four of the children including the one that wasn’t his - "The bastard."
Once he won custody of the children he kept the first three and put the fourth, "bastard," in a foster home. Needless to say the transition must have been difficult for the mother and her children. The bastard lost his mother and ended up in a foster home with strangers that were extremely abusive and negligent to him.
In the mean time his real mother tried to get her life together. She and her new husband got a job at the same place where they could save money by living at work with severely retarded children. She had a daughter. Eighteen months came and went. She sued to regain custody, and this time she won.
Suddenly, they went from a family of three to a family of six, and she was pregnant. They had no money and very little possessions. However, they were a whole family again.
However, the fourth child was now losing what was his "mother" (his foster mother) for a second time. Although he had come home to his real mother the transition was very difficult. But, he did okay. Until…
During school days, the other children picked him on tremendously. It was amusing to the other children to see him lose his quick temper.
Home was no refuse. His father denied that he was his son. He gave his newest son his name. Ernest the III.
The subject of who is his father was taboo. When the money got tight the bastard son and his older brother were the scapegoats. The anger was building in the young man, and he was a troubled person.
Once the father explained to the bastard, "You get hit, because you take it so well." His younger brother that was named after his real father could do no wrong. So the bastard took the blame for a lot of the troubles in the family.
Then some magic happened. He met a young lady that introduced him to a youth group that kept him out of trouble. Even though, "it was the wrong religion" for the mother, he kept going and found acceptance for who he was for the first time in his life. But it didn’t last long for it was too plastic.
After high school he joined the army – found drugs and alcohol. He spent years abusing his body and soul until he lost the one thing he loved the most – his son.
He went for help. He did a lot of work on his soul. He went back to church. He began to accept himself. Now he’s a teacher. He helps special education students in a public high school.
This is my story. I still struggle with my temper. The one’s I love the most receive the brunt of the anger. I am better. But, not perfect. I have found my true calling. I am a teacher. Not of subjects and curriculum, but life and healing. So, when someone thinks you are a waste of time, or they think you are just a pile of shit, hopefully you will have someone in your life that will help you compost your troubles. Then you can transform your experiences into something you can use in your life.
Richard McLaughlin
215-918-1347
Job Description:
Richard McLaughlin is a special education teacher at a public school.[ <<< Back ] [ Next >>> ] [ Contents ] [ Home ]
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