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19.
Transcending Life Circumstances
Thomas K. Watts
As a child, I always thought that I was born too late to do what I wanted to do. I wanted to be an explorer and see undiscovered lands. This was pretty adventurous for a shy child who was so sensitive and always concerned about helping anyone who was hurt and feeling down. As I headed for college, I had thoughts of becoming a minister so I could help people in more meaningful ways. But I didn’t resonate with the religious forms and dogma I encountered. So I left without matriculating and entered the corporate industrial world. I worked my way up into management even though I was clearly told that it would never happen without a degree.
While at school I met my Laurie, my wife to be. Life was good. Laurie and I were both making good money as managers in the same company but I wasn’t really helping people as meaningfully as I had once hoped and I certainly wasn’t doing any exploring. Then life fell apart. Laurie was diagnosed with an incurable form of leukemia and given a maximum of seven years to live. We were devastated. After living for a year in fear, anger, depression, confusion, and sadness we decided that there had to be a better way. So we read, researched; attended workshops, talked to many well known people in many fields – medicine, psychology, mind/body connections, nutrition, emotional, and spiritual.
At one point I attended a workshop that focused on exploring and changing the beliefs that limit us and fuel our unhappiness. In the space of an hour I discovered and changed the beliefs that were fueling my fear, sadness, depression, and anger related to Laurie’s worsening condition. I immediately learned and started to utilize the techniques with myself and Laurie as was well as others. I worked with prison inmates, friends and colleagues at work. Soon other managers were sending people to me for help. Laurie and I left the company and started a consulting/management&leadership training business. Eventually I came to realize that the thing I loved to do the most and that had the most dramatic results was to help people explore and change their limiting beliefs utilizing various techniques I had learned as well as incorporating wisdom from A Course in Miracles and other sources.
All this had a profound effect on Laurie and me. Although we thought before the diagnosis that we had a great relationship, it grew so much that we would never have chosen to go back that great relationship. We still had many difficult times but the difficulties didn’t rule us. Laurie lived much longer and in a much fuller way than the doctors said she would. We both felt that we had lived much more of life after her diagnosis than in all the years before. A couple of years before she made her transition in 1996 Laurie declared that healing meant much more than just fixing the body. She knew what she was talking about. In the last days she was here she reached a place where there was no fear, no sadness, no judgment of self or others, and found a peaceful strength centered in love. There was nothing but love. Nurses told me afterward that they were looking for excuses to be with her because they could feel that love coming down the hall toward her room. Her passing was so peaceful and beautiful that I experienced a heightened sense of peace and joy – the total opposite of what I once thought this day would bring.
At one point during those last days I was looking at her and because there was no mask – no shielding defenses, I suddenly realized who she really was. In an indescribable way I saw her essence - that perfect being of love with no hint of fear or judgment. She was totally vulnerable and paradoxically totally invulnerable. Then it hit me, "My gosh, that’s who I am and that’s who everyone is." I realized that I was seeing the truth of who we all are – each wonderfully unique but all of the same essence.
I tell this abbreviated story to make it clear that circumstances do not rule our lives. We do have a choice about how we feel and how we respond or react to life’s events. The most difficult situations all contain a gift for us if we can "undo" the beliefs that say otherwise. The "accepted wisdom" that says we are going to be caught in sadness, anger and fear doesn’t hold water. It’s not about denying or suppressing feelings. It’s about accepting and experiencing them fully and then being willing to explore them, discover the beliefs that fuel them, and decide whether we will choose to keep or change those beliefs. If so much good can come out of circumstances like this, good can come from any circumstance.
I did become an explorer and I did find a way to help people in a very meaningful way that brings me constant joy. I explore and help others explore a vast inner world and help them find the truth of who they are. Who we are in reality is so different than what we might have believed. Our true essence is so beautiful and powerful. Anyone can make contact with this essence and there are many paths. "Undoing" and "unlearning’ the beliefs and stories that camouflage our true being is one way that can be very effective and work in conjunction with any other.
I can’t imagine what could be more satisfying than being privileged to walk with people as they move forward on their journey to peace and happiness. I am truly blessed.
Thomas K. Watts
A personal life coach focused on journeying with those
who want to access the truth and power of who they are.
2408 Stove Prairie Rd
Bellvue, CO 80512
Phone: 970-484-72762
E-mail:
tkwatts@frii.com
Web site:
http://yoursecretgarden.org